Many of us have trouble improving our lives because we don’t know what we want.  When we were kids, we knew we wanted to be a fireman, a doctor or a ballerina. As adults, however, we find ourselves lacking direction.

We may want to trade our dead-end job for a fulfilling career, but falter when it comes to figuring out what kind of work we would enjoy. We may long for a satisfying relationship but find ourselves unable to picture the kind of person we’d like to be with, much less how to find them. For some people, nearly every aspect of life—from work to play—is marked by confusion and apathy.

How did this conundrum occur?

THE LOST ART Of DREAMING

When we can’t figure out what we want, it is a sign that somewhere along the way, we stopped dreaming. There are any number of dream-killers: hard times, disillusionment and the ill-effects of counter-mentoring (discouraging messages delivered by loved ones, teachers and other people who are supposed to serve as role models).

We begin to think in the negative. We can’t afford to get what we want. We don’t deserve to get what we want. Things are going well, but look out; the other shoe always drops and we end up disappointed. We develop personal mantras like these that discourage us from shooting for the stars.

This kind of pessimistic self-talk is depressing and even downright dangerous, says author and motivational speaker Tony Robbins: “Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.”

When we visualize our desires as blocked before we even reach for them, we begin to settle. The problem with settling for something—our job, the car we drive, the people we associate with, our level of education, our state of health and mind—is that we end up missing the mark. Because we are not living our dreams, optimum happiness is far away.

A NEW START

Guess what? You can reclaim and revitalize your dreams.

It’s hard to know what you want if you don’t know who you are. That’s why writing a personal mission statement is arguably the best way to start dreaming.

A personal mission statement is a succinct declaration of how you want to live your life. It encompasses the following: your values, which, to put it simply, are what matters to you; your endeavors, or what you plan to do to fulfill your primary concerns; and your purpose, the needs you fill through your efforts.

The best mission statements are usually short and sweet; one to three sentences or a paragraph at the most should suffice. They are not too general (“I want to work hard at whatever I do.”) Despite their brevity, honing a mission statement may take a bit of time. You want to ensure that your personal mission truly reflects your core values so that you can use it as a roadmap, one that will not lead you astray.

Here is an example of a mission statement:

“My mission is to make a positive impact in people’s lives, primarily young people, by imparting what I have learned. I strive to help people see the best in themselves while maintaining honesty, warmth and understanding.”

If you wrote this statement, it indicates that you might be interested in teaching or counseling. If you outlined these values, you will feel uncomfortable when obscuring the truth or behaving in a discouraging manner, whether in your personal or professional life.

A personal mission statement can encompass your entire life and worldview. Or, you may wish to write personal mission statements for any number of the important areas in your life: career, family, health, spirituality, relationships, finances, personal development, lifestyle, etc.

Here’s an example of a mission statement in the area of health and fitness, cited on the Time Thoughts website:

“To be healthy, fit and energetic so that I can enjoy life to the fullest and have the energy to pursue all my goals. I will do this by exercising regularly, following a nutritious diet and eliminating negative habits that are impacting my health.”

It is important to avoid crippling perfectionism when writing your mission statement. Don’t be afraid of getting it wrong because you can always adjust it as needed. Anthony Robbins emphasizes the importance of “getting out there” and not waiting for it to be just right. The important thing is that your personal mission statement, and your life, be just right for you just now.

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends,” he urges. “Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process . .   . You don’t have to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

There are few acts as transformative as defining how we want to live, notes Tony Robbins. “Three years ago I sat down and designed my ideal day and my ideal environment,” he said at the start of his career as a motivator. “I’m living both right now.”

FAMOUS MISSIONS

People who have achieved wealth, fame and influence have a clear idea of how they want to live and what they wish to achieve. Get online and browse through some quotes by your heroes. You’ll find their personal missions shine through their words.

Walt Disney once said, “Animation offers a medium of story telling and visual entertainment which can bring pleasure and information to people of all ages everywhere in the world.”

As you can see through his words and his works, Disney’s personal mission was to cultivate happiness and education through entertainment:

Mahatma Gandhi had a far-reaching “Resolution” that kept him on his revolutionary path.

“Let the first act of every morning,” he vowed, “be to make the following resolve for the day:

I shall not fear anyone on Earth.

I shall fear only God.

I shall not bear ill-will toward anyone.

I shall not submit to injustice from anyone.

I shall conquer untruth by truth.

And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering.”

We may not all aspire to such lofty goals, but we all wish to be happy. Another great thinker, the transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson, penned a wonderful mission statement that is a delightful definition of a life well-lived:

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children . . . to leave the world a better place . . . to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

What is your idea of a life well-lived? Sit down and write it out. It may be the first time you have pondered it. You can ask yourself a number of questions while brainstorming. The following are just a few questions that might prompt you to remember what you love to do.

SIX IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

1. What do you do for fun? Chances are that among your hobbies and favorite pastimes, there are clues as to your personal mission statement. If you are passionate about karaoke, you may wish to pursue music or entertainment in some capacity. If you love heading out on the road whenever you get a chance, you may wish to look for a job that includes a lot of travel.
2. Who are your greatest heroes? It is likely that you share and wish to further cultivate similar values to your role models. You may even wish to pursue similar endeavors. Fore example, if your heroes are John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., you may be interested in a leadership role as a politician or a community activist. Anthony Robbins encourages this kind of modeling. As he says, “If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.”
3. What do you like to read and learn about? Go sleuthing, checking out your bookshelves, your DVD collection, the TV programs you record and your magazine rack. If you have a passion for cookbooks and the cooking channel, you might want to look into culinary school or catering as an option. If your favorite show is “CSI” and your booklist is a who’s who of true crime writers, you may be interested in forensics or criminology.
4. What do you have a knack for? Perhaps you have a talent for art that you haven’t actively pursued in years, limiting your efforts to doodles while talking on the phone. Maybe you aced a number of psychology classes in college, or you are skilled at car repair. You may be able to gain fulfillment by getting back to the things you are naturally skilled in, or taking them to a new level.
5. What are your values? Make a list of adjectives—fairness, compassion, intelligence, adventurousness, etc.—and see which ones fit your priorities. What causes get you fired up? These may well be an indication of your values, not to mention areas in which you may want to work or volunteer. Perhaps you’re an animal activist at heart or a champion of literacy. Corresponding values might be compassion and education, respectively. Your values define who you are. Take the time to name them.
6. If you were to design a university course, or deliver a speech to a large number of people, what would your topic be? What would your message be? This is a question that can help reveal your areas of knowledge and interest. When people come to you for help now, what are they looking for? What are your areas of expertise and wisdom.

In creating a personal mission statement, it is important to inventory your greatest gifts, talents and passions. In doing so, you will open the door to possibility and a more abundant future.

Writing a personal mission statement is just one way to get in touch with your deepest dreams and values.  For more on how to dream-brainstorm, look for my upcoming article, Dreams: Brainstorming the possibilities.

The following information should help you get started on writing your personal mission statement. Ready, set, dream!

Achieving a goal is a multi-step process. You must take action to manifest a new reality and this involves consistent effort. It involves systematically changing your habits.

It isn’t easy.

Most of us operate on the pleasure principle. We eschew anything tough in favor of what makes us feel good at the moment. In the short term, inertia feels more comfortable than effort. Remaining in familiar territory feels more comfortable than pursuing change.

A NEW PERSPECTIVE

Pursuing a goal is about exchanging the pleasure principle for the long view. If you are determined to create a more abundant future, the status quo will begin to chafe you, like old clothes that no longer fit. Nothing can stop you from moving toward your vision.

Let’s say you set a goal to participate in a marathon and lose weight in the process. As in the case of anything worthwhile, work—even downright discomfort—is required. It takes motivation to get out of bed an hour early and go for a run when you could stay under the warm covers. You must stay motivated to throw off the covers again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.

If you keep your eye on the prize, however, consciously linking your effort to the future you desire, it’s possible to change your view of that early-morning run. It’s not a source of pain but instead a path to greater fulfillment!

Best-selling author and motivational speaker Anthony Robbins urges us to redefine our concepts of comfort and discomfort:

“The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. “By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors.”

HOW CAN I STAY MOTIVATED?

It’s easy to turn over a new leaf, vowing with enthusiasm to cultivate a life-changing habit. Look at how many people make a New Year’s resolution to hit the gym regularly, only to lapse into inactivity a few weeks later.

As we all know, it takes more than a few workouts to make an impact. As Tony Robbins says, “For changes to be of any true value, they’ve got to be lasting and consistent.”

If you want to manifest change, you need to keep your ambition stoked like a fire for weeks on end. A vision board can help you do just that.

Sometimes referred to as a dream board or treasure map, a vision board is a collage of inspiring images and words that help you remember your goals when the novelty threatens to wear off. It looks a lot like a project you made back in school. It doesn’t take much to make a vision board: a poster board, some pictures, scissors, some glue, maybe some markers.

CUT IT OUT

Your vision board can be dedicated to the changes you want in a number of areas, such as health, career, lifestyle and family. Or, it can focus more narrowly on one major goal such as your desire to own your own home.

If you plan to cover several bases with your vision board, collect a stack of magazines appealing to a range of interests. Look for periodicals with vivid color pictures and appealing text, such as O magazine. Raid the bookstore, hit up your friends or ask your local salon for their out-of-date magazines There is an endless array of titles that may reflect your focus—Golf Digest, Car and driver, Vogue, Bride, Travel & Leisure, etc.

If you plan on a more specifically themed vision board, such as one dedicated to your dream home, select your magazines accordingly. Your new-home vision board might include images culled from magazines such as Architectural Digest, Domino and Better Homes and Garden.

Next, cut out images from the magazines that appeal to you and reflect your goals. Want to get in shape? Cut out a picture of a fit runner jogging on the beach, enjoying the rising sun. Find a photo of a model wearing the kind of clothes you would purchase if you were to achieve a healthy weight loses.

Want that dream home? Cut out a picture of a home with an ocean view and another of a state-of-the-art kitchen featuring granite countertops, a cooking island that 6-burner gas stove you’ve been coveting. Grab a picture of a family enjoying a meal in a breakfast nook or a couple lolling comfortably by their pool.

If you don’t want to limit yourself to magazines, browse the Internet and print out images matching your goals. Once you have found an array of images, choose your favorites and paste them down on the poster board. Try using rubber cement instead of glue, as glued pictures tend to suffer from a ripple effect.

GETTING WORDY

Vision boards emphasize images because the subconscious responds most strongly to visual stimuli, but words are also an important part of your vision board. They can amplify the emotional impact of pictures. You can cut out headlines and advertising text from magazines and paste it on your collage. For instance, a headline reading “Life By the Sea” might complement a picture of your dream home.

Search the web for an inspiring quote or two by a legendary thinker. Aiming for a long-term fitness goal? Transcendentalist Henry David Thoreau once said, “Every man is the builder of a temple called his body.” Tony Robbins has also weighed in on the subject of improved health: “The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results.”

You can also create custom wording by typing text into a word document or desktop publishing program, then printing it out. Or you can use plain old-fashioned marker. Statements written in the present tense, that most confident of modes, are especially effective. Try it out. “I am healthy and fit.” Or, “I love driving my new Mercedes.” Don’t be afraid to be your own cheerleader. A simple “You can do it” can work wonders.

There are also a number of software programs designed to help you create dream boards. You techies out there may want to investigate these, or stop by one of the sites offering free vision board creation tools such as Catalog Of Dreams.

Whether you opt for a high-tech or low-tech vision board, this valuable tool underlines one of Tony Robbins’ key messages: “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”

WHAT DO I DO ONCE I’VE MADE MY BOARD?

Once you have created your vision board, it’s time to display it in a place where it will catch your eye on a regular basis. You might want to set it up in your office, or on the wall in front of your treadmill. Some people hang their vision board on the ceiling over their bed so that their goal pictorial is the first thing they see when waking up or going to bed.

If you want to keep your dreams personal, display your vision board in a space where only you will see it. It might not do, for instance, to have a vision board dedicated to landing a better job at your work place. Your home office, or bedroom, on the other hand, might be just the spot.

The important thing is that your vision board be displayed somewhere prominent. You will want to look at your vision board every day, twice a day, even several times each day. Make sure you look at it enough to drum up continued enthusiasm for your goal.

After reading this, you are probably ready to create your own vision board. Keep one more thing in mind: Attitude is everything. Make sure you invest every aspect of the goal-setting process with positivity and passion.

This includes your vision board. Make sure you are absolutely simmering with optimistic intent as you create the board. Make sure the images and phrases you include make you happy and full of gusto.

Don’t make the time you spend meditating on your vision board a matter of duty. Instead, time spent contemplating your vision board should be refreshing, revitalizing, energizing.

“Live with passion!” That is one of Tony Robbins’ principle mottos. The same might be said for the goal-setting process: “Dream with passion!”

If you get bored of your board, so to speak, don’t be afraid to look for new content. Get out those magazines and give your vision board a facelift.

Are you ready to picture your brightest future?
If so, check out our Tony Robbins seminars, you have the ability to unlock your potential, start today!

Perhaps you would like to grow your income so you can pay your bills and still have enough money to enjoy life and save for retirement. Maybe you have an idea for a business you’d like to start. You may want to lose weight, or earn a college degree.

Achieving goals like these requires direction and effort. It involves changing our habits.
Motivational speaker and life coach Anthony Robbins has said, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

What most of us have always done is to drift, to just get by. We fall into jobs. We accept our current lifestyle. We watch as things happen to us. What we get as a result is high levels of dissatisfaction.

The first step to changing the habit of drifting is simple: Get out a pen, a pencil, a crayon, anything! Write down your goals, the things you ardently desire. Then, write down sub-goals, the steps you need to acquire what you desire.

Does writing down your goals make that much of a difference?

Several years ago, researchers studying the influence of goal-setting found that only 3 percent of the population writes down its goals. The motivated minority— those who made a practice of goal-setting—were markedly wealthier and more successful than the rest of the 97 percent.

Clearly, success lies in joining that 3 percent and actively designing your life.

Is there a trick to setting goals?

Ask a roomful of children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Their responses are invariably ambitious: astronaut, doctor, firefighter, archeologist, ballerina, movie star!

For kids, the sky is the limit. As we get older, we start to limit ourselves. We eye the fixer-upper on the corner, never dreaming we may one day be able to afford a mansion. We scrimp and save for a quick weekend getaway instead of planning the vacation of our dreams. When looking through job listings, we screen ourselves out of careers we don’t feel qualified for. We gravitate to used car lots instead of hitting a dealership in search of a shiny new car.

The problem with these “realistic” goals is that we are unlikely to work for outcomes we have settled for.

“People are not lazy,” Tony Robbins says. “They simply have impotent goals—that is, goals that do not inspire them.”

Tony Robbins urges you to think big. Remember your childhood goals, or go shopping for new ones. Don’t stop until you have your eye on a prize that makes you excited.

“Passion is the genesis of genius,” as quoted by Anthony Robbins in his famous seminar unleash the power within.

Find your passion and you will invariably show intelligence, inspiration and perseverance when it comes to achieving it.

Let’s try out a goal: “I’d like to lose 25 pounds by the time bathing suit season rolls around.” Not too exciting, is it? This uninspired and uninspiring goal is the kind of objective we find ourselves talking about year after year.

There’s nothing wrong with the idea of becoming fit, but let’s try thinking bigger: “Next December, I will pass the finish line of the Honolulu Marathon. That night, I will toast my success from the balcony of my hotel on Waikiki Beach.”

Now that’s the kind of vision that inspires you to act. And guess what? Chances are, you will have taken off that 25 pounds in the process.

Write down sub-goals

What must you do to achieve this goal? Among other things, you’ll need to train until you are able to run the 42.195 kilometers that constitute a marathon in one go-round. Sub-goals will include mastering a series of running lengths working up to this distance.

You will also need to save for the trip and make travel arrangements. Sub-goals might include contributing a set amount of money to your savings account each month in preparation for the trip, and scouring the Internet for deals on plane tickets and hotels.

Getting to that marathon will take work, no doubt about it. However, as Anthony Robbins says, “There’s always a way if you are committed.” Because the plan is exciting, because it is representative of your dreams, you are more likely to achieve your goal than if you simply vowed to lose those pesky extra pounds.

For more on goal-setting, read my upcoming articles, “Getting Started on Your Goals” and “Visualizing Success: Keep Your Eye on the Goal.“ In the mean time, why not read up a little on our Tony Robbins seminars and see if they might offer that spark you’re looking for to ignite your success?

Many of us don’t spend a lot of time setting goals. It feels like a waste of time. Why not just get going?

We’ve all traveled without directions. Say you want to try to find a restaurant you’ve been told about. You know the city in which it is located, know which street it is near, but not the address.

You may find the place with no trouble. More likely, however, you end up driving around and around—close, perhaps lost. You may luck into the place after around wasting a lot of time and gas. You may need to stop and ask for directions. If your search is frustrating enough, you may even decide to eat elsewhere or go home. Poor planning has resulted in a disappointing outcome.

We rarely behave so casually when preparing for a trip with higher stakes.

If you are expected at a job interview at 10 a.m., you print out a map with accurate directions, calculate when to leave so as to arrive on time, and assess the state of your gas gauge.

If you are taking a cross-country trip, you pull out a roadmap and chart a course. After all, the rewards and risks of traveling are high: You want to maximize fun in new places and minimize time on the road.

We can afford to “wing it” when it comes to whims. Dreams are another matter. They are always important enough to warrant a roadmap. They require goal-setting.

Perhaps you’d like to start your own business, move to a bigger house, or lose some weight.

If you truly are excited about that house, that business and that weight loss, then be prepared to write down the steps you will need to take to change your status quo.

Taking the time to write down your goals sets you on a forward path. It is a response to and a reinforcement of a meaningful decision: “This destination matters to me.”

Set goals as to how to accomplish your dreams and you will avoid getting lost on the way. For the past 25 years, that has been the message of Anthony Robbins, noted life coach, speaker and author.

“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power,” he has said. “Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.”

Tony Robbins speaks from experience. As a young man, he found himself feeling trapped: broke, overweight and depressed. He was adrift. His life began to improve the moment he began writing down the things he wanted, and to envision steps he could take to achieve them.

“More than anything else, I believe it’s our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny,” he has said.

Once Anthony Robbins created a personal roadmap, he began moving toward a level of success he had once thought impossible.

He now reaches audiences the world over, urging them to take the long view and by take control. His message? “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”

We’ve discussed WHY it’s important to set goals. Find out HOW in our next article, Goal-setting: Getting Started.

Need help setting your goals? We warmly you reccomend you start by browsing our Anthony Robbins books section or attending a seminar of Anthony Robbins.

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